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Kiss-off Quotes Send a Hidden Message

Dear Dating Doctor:

My relationships have not been going well. I have had a fair number of callers, but after about date three I get hit with some stupid cliché rejection line. Last night's was a classic, "You remind me of my sister." Why are guys so lame and where do they get these stupid lines anyway? Will they ever go away?

- Sick of being Scammed

Dear Scammy:

Let me quickly correct one point that you mentioned. It is not just men that use these lines (which, by the way, I have coined Kiss-Off Quotes). Women use them quite effectively. Kiss-off quotes are semi-creative, often pathetic one-liners that are substituted for the truth in an attempt to ease the pain of an eminent separation-to-be.

It makes some sense to me why people use them --they are hesitant to say exactly what is on their mind as they feel it will hurt the other person's feelings. What they don't realize is that their stupidity hurts even worse.

Get used to them, because they won't disappear any time soon. With that in mind, here are the most common Kiss-Off Quotes I have hear and their actual meaning.
Kiss-Off Quotes commonly used by women:
  • I think of you as a brother. (You remind me of the banjo player in "Deliverance.")

  • There's a slight difference in our ages. (I'm not into dating my Dad or kid brother.)

  • I'm not attracted to you in that way. (You are one unattractive dude.)

  • My life is too complicated right now. (I will never date you, ever, for any reason).

  • I've got a boyfriend. (I haven't had a date in six months but would rather spend the evening with my cat and half a gallon of Ben and Jerry's than with you.)

  • I don't date the men where I work. (I wouldn't date you if you were in the same 'solar system' let alone the same building or company.)

  • It's not you, it's me! (It's you. Oh my is it you!)

  • I'm focusing on my career. (Even something as boring and unfulfilling as my career is better than dating you.)

  • I'm celibate. (I'd rather be than date a guy like you.)

  • Let's just be friends. (I want you around with no fear of sex between the two of us so that I can tell you in excruciating detail about all the other men I am dating.)

Kiss-Off Quotes commonly used by men:
  • I think of you as a sister. (I find you unattractive.)

  • There is a slight difference in our ages. (I find you unattractive Mrs. Robinson.)

  • I am not attracted to you in that way. (I find you unattractive.)

  • My life is too complicated right now. (I find you unattractive.)

  • I have a girlfriend. (I'm lying. You know it and I find you unattractive.)

  • I don't date women where I work. (If I really wanted to, I would find a way. So, I must find you unattractive.)

  • It's me. It really is. It's not you. (It's you, because I find you unattractive.)

  • I am concentrating on my career.(I'll concentrate on anything if it helps me forget you.)

  • I'm celibate. (I'm a guy. You know that I am lying, so, I must find you unattractive.)

  • Let's just be friends. (This is impossible for most men so we both know that I must find you completely and totally unattractive).

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