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Feedback
We can't possible stress enough the importance of feedback... both giving and receiving. Feedback will allow you to adjust your kissing to find that optimal middle ground that we're shooting for. Basically, all we're looking for is a little communication... usually non-verbal, since your lips and (probably) tongue are busy doing other things. As we all know, communication is VITAL to any relationship... and this certainly applies to the relationship formed when kissing. Give and take are important, so PAY ATTENTION.
It is the responsibility of both kissing partners to give and receive feedback during the course of a kiss. This could be changes in breathing (panting, deep breathes, gentle whispers), small noises (moans, sighs, groans), or any other way to let your partner they are doing something right... or wrong, for that matter. This can be a tricky area, since you should be nice and relaxed, really into the kiss, and yet able to interpret what your partner is telling you. When you are relaxed and enjoying the kissing, it's generally best to let your small noises, panting, etc. happen as it may. We certainly are not saying to make up feelings that aren't there in the first place, but by all means don't hold back with those that are! As always, adjust this advice according to setting and situation.
Picking up and interpreting your partner's feedback is just as important as being free with your own. If their breathing changes, they make contented little sighs, or anything that sounds encouraging, be aware of what you're doing at that time and either do it more or come back to it. If they happen to turn a light shade of blue and all panting ceases, then it might be time to ease off and allow some of what we call "breathing time." Kissing is for the both of you... which means you've got to do at least as much to please your partner as to please yourself. It's a tricky balance of giving and accepting pleasure... but with practice (especially with that special someone) it will become easier and easier.
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