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Kissing School: Kissing 101

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The Tongue and How to Use It:

What to Do Once You're There

  When you're in the midst of a French kiss, it may help to think of your tongues dancing together. Keep them moving in smooth, sensual movements. (Some people swear by spelling out the alphabet with their tongues. We generally find this too constricting and distracting. The idea is to find smooth, pleasing movements, and to vary them slightly to keep things interesting.) Caress your partner's mouth and tongue with yours, varying tempo and pressure. Like dancing, sometimes you want to take the lead, sometimes you want to be led. Sometimes you slip and fall on your butt. No matter what, kissing is something you're do TOGETHER... so don't forget it!

  To get the most out of a tongue kiss, concentrate on caressing their mouth and tongue with yours, and really feel what's going on in your mouths. If you ALWAYS have your tongue in their mouth, and they NEVER have their tongue in yours, then you're probably not cooperating as well as you could be. If one partner is always trying to ram their tongue out as far as they can, then this obviously takes away from the cooperation. French kissing is not a contest, it's not a power play, it's not an opportunity to dominate... it IS a chance for two tongues to dance and play together.

  Of course, some people are more shy, or more unsure of what to do, and will basically keep their tongue 'back' in their mouth. Don't worry about this... but try to encourage a more 'equal' situation (see the 'Kissing exercise' at the end of this section). As you get more comfortable, the French kiss should become more equal. As with all things, tell your partner what you like and want... even if it's just through signs and moans. Encourage behavior you like by complimenting it or just melting into it... they'll get the point sooner or later.

  Another important tip to ensure good tongue kissing is DON'T FORGET YOUR LIPS! Remember to keep them 'soft' and to be aware of what they are doing and what they are feeling. If you are opening your mouth way too wide, or getting too concentrated on your tongue, then your lips will start to 'stiffen up'... a key sign that you're off track. Keep your mouth open comfortably, keep your lips soft and pliable, and concentrate on ALL the sensations of the kiss. Just because you've added your tongues to the kiss doesn't mean you can forget everything else!

Next Page: Advanced Studies

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